Two Years From Now...

I was asked yesterday if my time here has helped me in my life. What a loaded question that I’m sure all RPCVs are asked at one point or another.  I just didn’t expect to be asked so soon. I said that that was a question I didn’t think I could answer objectively for another 2 years or so.  It’s difficult to still evaluate my time and service while I’m still in it.  Even a few months from now when I’m reacquainting myself with America I doubt I’ll be able to look at this experience for what it is.  Especially given the recent turbulent frustrations at my site.

Perhaps the most striking part of this question is who actually asked it: a 22-year-old local from a nearby village.  I must note it was in practically perfectly English.  (Let me remind you that the level of English in Ztown is next to nothing; I can count the number of English speakers on one hand.)

Back-story: this young man recently tracked me down to help him practice his English speaking. At first I turned down his request for a conversation club explaining that my weeks were fading and there was no others his age or level to form a group.  He told me he taught himself only a year and a half ago, by listening to English speaking programs and he wanted desperately to speak with a foreigner.  I had heard it before but he was quite persistent and eager and honestly, I was quite impressed with his level for learning on his own.  I’ve found that general interest in continuing education or self-improvement is minimal in this culture.  (I hate to say it, but the truth is malingerers are a dime a dozen.) 

In my head I’m asking myself “who are you and where did you come from?” because surely his is not like the others.  The other part of me was saying “where were you 2 years ago?” when I was searching this town for any one willing to put in a little effort to join a club.  Most of my “clubs” have been strictly teaching grammar—the level to have an actual conversation is quite minimal.  Other volunteers with university students have been having debates and putting on plays in their regions while I have been limited to repeating sentence structure and prepositions.  Not that I’m complaining-I’m here to do what is needed, but it would be nice to have a higher-level conversation now and then.   Then in walks Nasir and I find myself not being able to deny him a third time—I want to finish this race (or dare I say, marathon?) to the full. Truthfully I may be able to do more for him and his English in my last weeks than I have for most of the uninterested students in school.  So I succumb to his pleas and say that I’ll form a twice-weekly discussion club with a few other students (all the while wary and nervous but also really excited to have more work to do.) 

I’m proud to say the six of us speak English for the entire hour and half.  So far the most popular activity is debate discussions with arguing for and against different topics.  After club last week Nasir and I were walking towards the end of town where he hitchhikes back to his village.  For someone who has never left the country he doesn’t act much like his peers and his ideas are those of someone way beyond his years. I wish I had more time to get to know him.  There are those rare individuals everywhere I realize.  There are the feckless bums, who could care less about doing anything for anyone, engage in intellectual talk or venture to learn something from someone else, but there are also others who strive for more, knowing it’s out there.  I found a few of those here—or perhaps they found me.

I’m not sure how I’ll really be able to describe my past 2 years in a 3-minute elevator speech I will surely need upon my return home.  How can I truly convey what this has been like?

Challenging. Dark. Trying. Frustrating. Eye-opening. 

Most non-PCVs think that you join PC for an adventure—for exciting experiences.  People always want to know the funny and crazy stories.  Sorry, but I don’t have those. Maybe some things will seem funny in a few years. Ask me then.  What I have had is relationships.  That’s what it comes down to (I hope) in the end.  I’ve met people who know me now and who I know.  People who have listened to me and who I’ve listened to; people with whom I’ve laughed, hugged, cried and smiled with.  I just hope I’ve helped a few more along the way.

I told Nasir that I know I’ve already changed because I understand the people here more.  I’m also much more appreciative of all that I have in America.  Immediately people will think I’m referring to conveniences like showers and refrigerators (or flushing toilets for that matter!) but I can stand to live without those things.  Above all else, I value my rights.  I love the freedom to have my opinions, to have my rights and as a woman to be respected and have choices.  That’s the way I know I know I’ve already changed.  The rest? We’ll just have to see. Ask again later.